I Don’t Need Hell I Have Pants in My Closet.


That time has come again. I am down to three pairs of pants I know fit. Well, one pair that is so baggy I have to belt them, a pair of yoga pants, and one pair that fit nicely. I need to go through all of the jeans in my closet to try and find a least one more pair that fits. The weather is warming up here, and so I begin to flip through my light-weight jeans, the ones hanging up fit a few months ago. At least I think they all fit.

Will they fit now? Do I dare try them on? First I have to decide if I can afford to spend the rest of the afternoon pouty with a bruised ego, because let’s face it after trying on the second pair of jeans that don’t fit, I will begin a downward spiral of deep pouting, hiding in a book, and getting nothing done.

It’s sad, yes I know, but hey . . . nope I don’t have anything witty to add, it’s just sad.

I can hear you “Um,hey, Alica how about getting rid of the pants that don’t fit and buying some new ones?”

Okay that sounds reasonable, but I’m a writer. Reasonable isn’t really what I do. Anyway the ones that are WAY too small are packed away and the ones in my closet will fit when I lose a few pounds. SNORT and how long have I been saying that?

Also, buying new pants means spending money on clothes at a size I’m not happy with,and that makes the pouty turn into bitter angry resentment, which is worse, trust me.

So I flip through my jeans and pick out a pair I remember wearing a lot last summer. Holding my breath and sucking in my tummy (like that helps) I pull them on.

Buttoned? YES!

Zipper? YES!

Woo-hoo! happy shimmy, I turn away from my closet. I won’t press my luck. One more pair to wear is enough right now, and who knows maybe all this working out will pay off and next time my closet will seem a little less like Hell.

22 responses »

      • Sweetie, I grew up in the Mojave. It’s all in the timing! The yardwork gets done in the evening and you spend the heat of the day in the a pool that someone was wise enough to put a sunscreen over! Besides any exercise done in the desert summer counts double! You get the workout plus equal time of suana treatment!! Learned the hard way about staying hydrated though. You should definitley do that part!!

      • I am totally willing to count what I do outside for double points LOL. I do my best to go out early or late, but I’m such a wimp. Maybe this year I’ll suck it up better and go out and do stuff.

    • Wow there are so good points in there. But I hate wasting money 😦 But maybe I should go through and set my old jeans free …. Do you use sparkpeople? I have int eh past and have just started up again- I love how easy it is to use.

      • I do use it. I would never have been able to lose my weight without it. My ex-wife and I used it at the same time, and we lost a combined 65 pounds. Then she realized she was too young and pretty for me, and she left. 😉

  1. Living in Texas, it’s more than jeans weather. It’s almost time to pull out the shorts (some people already have). Then I experience those same thoughts of does it fit? can I zip? But also “Oh my pasty white legs!” and “I don’t remember all those varicose veins” and “When did my knees start sagging like that?” Why, oh why, do we do this to ourselves!

    Your post made me smile. Glad your jeans fit. Best wishes for a fab wardrobe and great weather, Alica!

  2. I can so relate! My last pair of jeans ripped unfashionably, so I had to go shopping. Gloria Vanderbilt stretch jeans to the rescue LOL!

  3. LOL. This post cracked me up. I tossed a bunch of my jeans last year then I got out of my exercise groove because I have been planted in my chair writing. Maybe I should have held on to some of my fatter pairs. We are already in shorts here in Cali. 85 today.

  4. Hi Alica! I feel your pain. Here’s a post I wrote in response to Aimee@everydayepistle.com a few months back:

    I tried on my bitter pants today; considered whether to wear them to work. They chose to elude me, however, wiggling down my legs into a puddle of disappointment. I wore a skirt instead.

    Thought you may be able to appreciate. 🙂 Hang in there.

    • Thanks Jolyse, one of my favorite things to wear use to be sarongs, they covered everything, protecting me from the sun and if I gained or lost weight it didn;t matter, but that was about 20 or so pounds ago and now they snug to make a good knot. So sad.

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