Monthly Archives: May 2012

Last days of my 30 day cleanse!!

Standard

Sorry there are no pictures my daughter left her camera at a friends house.

Day 22- I am feeling much better- I didn’t eat much today an apple and some raspberries. Hubby make me guacamole with cucumbers and a few olives. It takes me two hours to eat it all my tummy has shrunk and it still delicate.

Day 23- Tummy hurt this morning, I only drank juice until it was almost time to go to work. I am sick of this stomach thing.

Day 24- Didn’t sleep well, tummy still hurts in the am, I don’t want to eat, I don’t even feel hungry however being light headed and shaky lets me know I need to eat. This was not how I wanted to spend my third week of this cleanse. Grrrr, maybe it will be for the best.

Day 25- I’m not even going to complain about my stomach any more- its pointless. Had to take the kids shopping. God they are so friggin’ expensive! $70 for a bath suite- it does have silver skulls on it, but still ouch. And I won’t even discuss the cost for the graduation gift for Logan’s girlfriend. Let’s just say he will be taking his sister and her friend to the pool all summer without complaining!

Day 26- Being sick and not eating has dumped my writers brain in a dank dark well full of self pity where no one really likes me and any second everyone is going to tell me everything that they hate about me. Sometimes being creative sucks! I’m trying to not wallow in self pity and spend most of my day reading and napping until I have to go back to work.

My current house full of kids really needs a lot of one on one guidance, I wish I had more patience today.

Day 27- Tummy pain didn’t last as long today. So I am forcing myself to eat fruit- one type at a time and chew well. I am also trying my best to make myself get stuff done. I simply have too much to do.

So through all this crazy I did have a realization, I never do only one thing. Never, when I drive I’m plotting or working out a scene. Right now, I’m writing this, watching over five children, the TV is on, and I’m cooking dinner. When I watch movies I’m knitting, scanning social media, or doing paperwork. I have so much going on, work, family, writing and all that goes with it, I feel like I can never stop or slow down.

I need to do one thing at a time. Not always, I can watch over children and read blogs, write, or catch up on FB and Twitter. But every once in a while I think I need to slow down and do one thing. Play a game with the kids without feeling guilty. I would love to write without ten other things distracting me. It would be nice to just relax and not let guilt gnaw away at me while I’m trying to enjoy myself or focus.

You know what else I just noticed? If I’m doing paperwork or other ‘important work related stuff’ I don’t feel as guilty, but playing, writing, checking up on my FB friends I feel totally guilty if I’m doing just that, but as I also know it’s important I will allow it to get in the way of me setting my laptop down and doing something else, something just for fun.

I need to work on this.

Day 28- Felt really good today. Went and did personal training with Evil, I wore my True Blood “It Hurt So Good’ t-shirt apparently this only encourages him. I need to remember this. Hung out with hubby- kids were both gone 🙂 During lunch he was eating potatoes with cheese and enchilada sauce all over them. I thought about making out with him between bites just so I could taste what he was eating, but decided this was a little pathetic even for me.

Day 29 I didn’t work out today, things were busy. I sat around and read, which was fun, but I’m getting antsy and constantly have several book ideas bouncing around me head, I need to start writing again before someone notices I’m crazy and locks me up.

Day 30 I made it!! I didn’t cheat once, and while I wish I had lost more weight I feel like I’ve accomplished my goal of breaking unhealthy eating patterns. My plan now is to add salads to my diet and slowly bring in other foods. While eating something gooey and fried pops into my mind my stomach instantly rejects the idea.

I’ve learned a lot for this experience. I’ve learned that eating doesn’t help my emotional state at all. I’ve learned I am strong enough to resist unhealthy foods and eating habits. I’ve learned that I feel so much better when I am eating well. And I’ve learned that the support of my friends means so much to me. Thank you to everyone who read and commented on my blog as I’ve been doing this. You’re encouragement and support helped me so much!

I am planning on continuing to post once a week, probably on Tuesday were I will talk about how I’m doing, what new revelations have come to me, recipes and reviews of foods.

How Have You Changed Since the Games?

Standard


I just finished reading the Hunger Games trilogy. This was an amazing set of books. I laughed, cried, become enraged, and was completely drawn into Katnis’ world.

That being said, I don’t know that I liked these books. They are brutal to read, and I personally like my fiction happier. I know life isn’t; hello, I care for kids removed from their homes by CPS. I know life sucks and people are horrid.

I can see how the Hunger Games is a reflection of our world and culture and a warning of where we could be going. I get that. It doesn’t change the fact that when I finished at 1:30 am because I had to know how they end, I felt heartbroken. Yes, there is hope, but the pain, suffering, and loss, are so great that the ending doesn’t fix that for me. They gave up everything in order to change their world. And when they look at their children, maybe the nightmares are worth it. But my heart still ached when I closed the book.

So here is my question. If you have read them, or even seen the movie, and your heart ached for Katniss and the other children; if you felt The Hunger Games shows us about our current culture and where we are headed; what have you changed in your life? Have you stopped watching reality TV? Are you buying more local foods? Are you checking where your products come from and only buying them from countries with labor laws you agree with? Are you reducing your use of natural resources?

Now maybe you already live like this. Maybe you have nothing to change, and if not, you rock and please leave tips in the comments. But realize that if you are reading this, you live in the ‘Capitol’, even if you are not a policy maker or wealthy enough to buy and sell people, you still live in the capitol. And for peaceful change to happen it has to begin with us, IMHO.

Now I have never heard nor read an interview with Suzanne Collins, maybe this isn’t what she wants. Maybe this isn’t some big political statement, maybe for her it’s only a handful of berries. But what does the book mean to you? How have you been changed?

A habit to change or accepting it’s who I am?

Standard

We all have things we would like to change about ourselves. If you’re anything like me you have a long list stained with tears of frustration and chocolate finger prints. But how do you tell the difference between a bad habit that you need to change and accepting this is simply part of who you are?

Let me give you an example.

When I am doing something new and scary I hide. Not like curled in the closet under blankets, but I don’t go out, I don’t answer the phone, and I spend as much time reading as possible. I have done this for as long as I can remember.

You can’t see me.

It’s not simply things like trying a new recipe that will send me into hiding, but something big. Putting myself out into the world. A new job. Anything that makes me feel vulnerable, I hide. And as all good hiders know, you need good snacks when you hide; sticking, of course, to the four food groups: salty, crunchy, gooey, and sweet.

Is this something I should force myself out of, or accept? So far the mental berating of getting off my ass and acting like a grown up hasn’t helped much.

I’m not completely dysfunctional. I will go to the gym with my friend. I go to work. And I will still write (sometimes), and, yes, reading is important for a writer. Enough happens that I can put a good spin on the whole event. The few times I have accepted this is part of who I am, the faster I went through the cycle. So I’m thinking this is something to accept about myself, and the next time I know I’m going to feel vulnerable and therefore go into hiding I will prepare, by getting snacks in the necessary food groups that won’t add inches to my waist. Gooey is the hardest to find.

What about you? Do you have a part of yourself that could use some acceptance instead of treating it like it’s a bad habit to be banished?

And for music today I Gaitana from Ukraine

Dhoom 2

Standard


Because I have been sick I am re-posting my first Foreign Film Friday Dhoom 2. This is a Bollywood movie- so there is singing and dancing, beautiful outfits, many costumes changes, and the sudden use of English slang in the middle of the Hindi.

Dhoom 2 is full of action and music. The actors are fabulous Hirithik Roshan, Abhishek Bachan, Aishwarya Rai, Uday Chopra, and Bipasha Basu. The songs are great- my daughter bought the CD, and the dancing amazing.

I had ten kids- most of who can’t read well enough to keep up with the subtitles- sit with me and watch this three-hour movie. This is a really fun and lighthearted way to introduce yourself to Bollywood.

Dhoom 2 is about a man ‘A’ who is a master thief and described by the police as ‘cool’. In fact he is so cool that he makes an aluminum can magnetic! ‘A’ is a master of disguise and the police are stumped so they have Sunehri, a lovely thief who always refer to herself in the third person, gain A’s confidence. Our cops Jai- the bad ass and Ali- the goof ball, follow A and Sunehri to Brazil in order to try to catch him. Amazing escapes, perfect abs, extraordinary costumes, and beautiful landscapes frame the plot and unique songs and dances which are a blend of traditional Indian and new hip-hop styles. Prepare to dance in your seat and laugh your ass off at this campy fun Bollywood romantic action adventure.

This movie is safe for the whole family (there is one weird scene with a gun but no one gets hurt.) I don’t remember any cussing, and of course there is no sex. I think they kiss once, maybe twice.

Popcorn, Ninjas, and Ginger Calem

Standard

Today the lovely and inspiring Ginger Calem is going me today!

California Girl turned Texas Woman. Wife to one Superhero. Mom to three pieces of her heart. When she’s not keeping the house-natives happy and fed, Ginger can be found at her CrossFit gym or at her desk, writing about the characters clamoring in her head. Her favorite things are wakeboarding on long, summer lake days out in the boat, anything that causes spontaneous laughter, and living room dinners of sushi and wine.

1- We all have favorite books, ones we nag our friends to read, buy our loved ones as gifts, and the biggy, the books we read over and over again. What books have you read more than twice?

This was an easy one for me because I reread all of the Harry Potter books. The characters in that series feel like my friends so I have to hang out with them from time to time. Oh, and I’ve read Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander at least three times. How’s that for opposite ends of the spectrum?

I haven’t read Outlander, yet, but I adored the Harry Potter series.

2- Everyone seems to complain when their favorite book is made into a movie or mini series. What is your favorite movie based on a book?

Had to think about this one because the obvious answer would be the Harry Potter series. But I also loved the old TV mini-series based on The Thorn Birds. Wow—it was so good! Also, my husband and I just saw Hunger Games (midnight showing with our 3 kids) and I have to add that in here because I was extremely impressed and can’t wait to see it again!

Thorn Birds was my mom’s favorite mini-series! She loved anything with Richard Chamberlain.

3- When the zombie apocalypse comes what is going to be your weapon of choice?

My running shoes and I’d run like hell.

Running is a great skill, one I don’t have.

4- If I was bitten by a zombie I have a list of people I want to bite. Who’s at the top of your list?

The first politician I saw. Since they are so intent on biting and scratching at each other, I would have done my job to get rid of them all.

Very good plan, but would we be able to tell if they have been turned??

5- What do you think werewolf musk smells like?

Having just finished Kait Nolan’s RED (which was awesome!), I’d say pretty good … kind of like a visceral aroma of earthy attraction—raw pheromones lingering on sun-warmed skin.

What a great descriptions! And I agree Red is a wonderful book!

6- If you were to write yourself into your book what kind of character would you be?

Oh, that’s easy. I’d be Mai, the main character in my Ninja Chick book, which is my current project. She’s fiercely loyal, sarcastic and funny, and she gets to spend a lot of time with hunky and adorable Oliver. Oh, and she gets to be a Ninja, which I secretly am, but you can’t tell anyone. Sshhh!!

You’re secret is safe with me! I would love to be a ninja
!
7- What is the geekiest thing about you?

I’m still waiting for my acceptance letter from Hogwarts.

Wait, that’s geeky? Are you sure that won’t happen? *Looks for owls out the window*

8- Who is your arch nemesis?

My inner-critic. None of my Ninja-moves seem to thwart her! But, I’m working on some new moves and she better watch out.

I know that enemy!

9- What mad ass survival skill do you have?

You mean besides the Ninja stuff? Ok, seriously, I’m extremely resourceful and I’m ornery enough to survive to prove it can be done.

Never under-estimate stubbornness.

10- We’re all supposed to be eating healthy, but what naughty treat tempts you the most?

Anyone who follows my blog or knows me from Twitter and Facebook know that I’m a healthy eater and a fitness geek. But—this girl can’t pass up some movie popcorn. I can say no to almost anything but I walk into the theatre and I smell that warm, crunchy, yumminess! No added butter to make it soggy, no flavored salts or crap, just hot, just-popped, popcorn. In fact, I make them scoop it out of the freshest spot.

Okay now I’m hungry!

11- How old were you when you stopped believing in the Easter bunny?

I don’t understand the question. Who doesn’t believe in the Easter Bunny?

LOL- true is you don;t believe you don;t get goodies.

12- What do you love most about you’re current book?

Mai’s voice in my head and the energy of her potential.

I love having strong character voices in my head.

13- What style of book do you secretly long to write, but are afraid to try and do?

What a great question. I have this idea about the lost city of Atlantis and the pole-shift and in my head it seems so cool but it’s so BIG that it scares me. I don’t want to rob the story of it’s magic by not doing it justice. Maybe someday. I have to manage these Ninjas first and they are out of control at the moment. 🙂

I LOVE Atlantis stories, I hope you write it some day!

14- As an author tells us three things that will mean success to you in your writing career.

I love this question! Ok—

1. Having my first book available for sale at Amazon and having people actually purchase it, people not related to me, who will love it (of course) and then review it kindly. I will do cartwheels down the street, on video, and post it on my blog when this happens!

2. Being contacted by readers saying they loved my book and can’t wait to read the next one.

3. Being invited to give a keynote address at a major writing conference.

Those are lovely goals for success! I can’t wait to read about Mai and her mad ninja adventures! Thank you so much for hanging out with me today. And for those for you who don’t follow Ginger- you need too! You can find her at her Blog and on Twitter

Week three of the crazy cleanse.

Standard

I am sorry my posts have been so hit and miss, as you can see crazy invaded my life and I was not prepared. Hopefully it will all be settled soon. On with the fun!

Day 15- This is you’re warning, I have started my moon (period), so this week will be full of whining bitching and probably TMI.

I’m feeling okay, actually I’m kind of proud I’m not craving anything bad for me. Maybe this won’t be so bad. Maybe I’ve done enough cleansing that I won’t have a rough time.

Day 16- My body hurts, my mind is a dark place, and I am sure everyone is just trying to piss me off. I’m pretty sure I could kill people right now and not feel bad a bout it at all. Normally I would eat from the four major food groups- gooey, crunchy, salty, and sweet and take Midol. However I’m concerned about taking medication while only eating fruits and an apple just isn’t the same as a pile of egg rolls.

I’m sure this cleanse thing is completely stupid and have to restrain myself from eating other foods.

Day 17- Apparently telling your personal training you’re in a ‘fucking bitchy mood’ is code for work me so hard I’m shaking on the floor, can’t breath any more, and start praying for death.

After working out I read smut and had a protein shake, then nap. I woke up feeling human. Unfortunately that only lasted until someone spoke to me, then I was pissed again.

Is this me on my period? Is this how I would feel every month without holy and blessed combination of Midol, ice cream, and nachos?

I really want a sandwich made from sourdough bread, nutella, and potato chips.

I managed to get the kids through their day and even read a bedtime story and no one burst into tears- but I was close several times.

I dreamt of a triple layer grilled cheese sandwich, it was crispy and one of the many cheeses melting down the side was brie.

Day 18- I woke up feeling human today! I smiled and got out of bed not nearly as sore as I expected to be. Got the kids ready, and didn’t want to stab anyone 🙂

Today I went with a friend to Phoenix and spent tons of money at LUSH. I haven’t indulged like this is forever. It felt great, I didn’t even feel guilty for spending that much money, of course what I got will last me a long time.

I got a fruit smoothie at the food court, my friend was sweet and got a salad. I was so excited by the LUSH I wasn’t even that bothered by all the food smells.

I had a great day, we got stopped by a cop on the freeway- I wasn’t driving, and went to a tattoo parlor, I didn’t get a new tattoo but I really want one.

Any way I’m glad I’m feeling normal again.

Day 19- I had a protein shake for breakfast because I was sore this morning, delayed reaction I guess.

I had a writers meeting which was fun, except for lunch which was a bit difficult to sit through.

At dinner the kids had pot pies, which smelled really good, I almost took one from the kids.

Hubby came down and asked me if I wanted dinner. I told him about wanting to steal the kids food he just smiled and told me there would be a treat with dinner.

Um hello I’m eating nothing but fruit what Kind of a treat could there be?

OLIVES AND PICKLES!!! Rod added a few olives and pickles to my dinner. They’re salty, sour, and the pickles a bit spicy. OMG they are so good. Nom nom nom.

Day 20 and 21- I am sick, tummy cramping, fever, I don’t even check my email sick. I drink some juice and Rod makes me eat a bit apple sauce. I sleep a lot, waking long enough to watch Torchwood and Sherlock then burrowing back under the covers to hide from the air conditioner- it’s 105 outside.

I am better now 🙂 Don’t worry my body is slowly coming back to normal. Also I have a video for you all to watch as I haven’t posted on Music Monday in two weeks! I think the back up dancers are cute- but I still don’t like white skinny jeans, sorry guys.

A Some What Gentle Man

Standard

A Some What Gentle Man

This is a Norwegian dark comedy. I’m a bit picky about my dark comedies, they need to be more funny then dark, I don’t like watching people being horrid to one another.

Anyway, back to the movie. Ulirk has just been released from prison, he was there for 12 years and all he wants now is to smoke a cigarette and eat a nice meal, but no one will let him. He’s constantly interrupted, poor Ulrik.

The only person he wants to talk to isn’t sure he wants to be around him. And you know if everyone else would just leave the poor man alone he’d be happy.

I enjoyed A Some What Gentle Man, I laughed. The movie ended on a good note. I don’t think I would watch it a second time, but if someone told me they liked dark comedies I would suggest they check it out.
This movie has sex and nudity so only older teens and adults unless you want to explain things. 🙂

Mad ramblings from the second week of a cleanse.

Standard

Another yummy breakfast

Day 8- When they say sleep is important, especially if you are working towards a healthier lifestyle they mean it. This morning it was very difficult to keep to my fruit cleanse. I wanted fast carbs- white flour and sugar like crazy. Got all the kids off to school, then slept. I feel better now, but I’m still groggy and I can feel that my patience isn’t as high as I need it to be for work. I will breath, smile, and remind myself that this is temporary.

I got a new kid tonight, he seems nice, but I never sleep well when I have a new kid in the house. Not looking forward to tomorrow.

Day 9- Doing okay, I’m emotional- which today mean pissy. Got through my morning, and then did personal training at the gym. While suffering Evil’s plots and what I know to be a contest personal trainers hold to see who can get their clients to do the craziest stuff- I had a great book idea. Demons hiding as personal trainers. Evil laughed, just wait I will write it and in my book, Evil will not have hot wild sex with anyone!

Had a protein shake when I got home. I’m getting tired of fruit (imagine that) which means I’m eating less, but I’m still feeling good except for the emotional crap. Read up on voodoo (yes you should be scared), napped, took a bath so I could walk later. My mind was racing with really negative thoughts so I took some Melissa. Is this just because I haven’t slept well or is it part of the cleanse? Are old emotions releasing? Or am I panicking because I am no longer supporting my armor of fat?

Or maybe it’s showing me that not every day is a beautiful synchronistic day. Some days suck, some just are, and some your in the flow.

There’s a Zen story about two monks walking a sheer mountain path to get to their temple. A storm comes in and they can’t see except when the lighting crackles through the air. At which time they move forward as far as they can and wait for the next burst of lightning. The moral is the enlightenment isn’t the sun shining constantly, but burst of clarity that helps us move forward a bit at a time.

I like this, I’m going with the Zen.

Subdued three small children with apples- see fruit it a powerful thing 🙂

Dinner of cucumbers, avocado, and tomatoes. It’s yummier then it looks.

Day 10- Lots of moodiness. Definitely some emotional cleansing going on. I don’t want to eat fruit, so I’m pouting a lot. But physically I still feel really good.

Day 11- Okay I was tested big time. One of my kids lost his mind, while I wasn’t there. I was at a function for my daughter’s school – yes again- when I find out how bad his fit was. Poor things had to be removed from our place. So here I am upset I wasn’t there, feeling guilty one of ‘my kids’ is putting my co-workers and friends through all of this and I surrounded by pizza and cookies.
I didn’t eat any, and tried very hard to remind myself that I am not responsible for other people actions. That if I was working and one of them was off I would take care of it because that’s what we do.

Tala did awesome at the talent show, and I was able to calm down enough to enjoy it. But once I got home to anxiety crept up and I felt nauseous with guilt.

I felt this way until everything was settled at the hospital and my friend was home.
If I hadn’t been cleansing while I waited I would have been eating total crap. And I realized that while I would have felt full, and nauseous and added in more guilt for eating so much and poorly I wouldn’t have felt any better. Medicating with food doesn’t do any good. It doesn’t make me feel any better. I hope I remember this when I am done cleansing.

I don’t make myself food this pretty

Day 12- Today I have learned to tell the difference between a mistake I make and feeling responsible for stuff I have no control over. I did this because I made a mistake, and instead of feeling overwhelmed and out of control I was able to find solutions and work to fix it. When I’m feeling guilty and responsible for something that isn’t my fault, such as hubby getting a flat tire, there are no solutions.

Food wise I had to peel an avocado and take bites of it because I forgot my spoon and knife when we went to the park. I’m pretty sure I looked rather special in that moment.

Day 13- I didn’t eat enough today. Hubby made me a lovely breakfast, but after that he was busy until dinner and I worked all day- as I do on the weekends, and I was pouting because I didn’t want to eat fruit so I wound up with a headache and moody.

Watch out for berry thieves!

Day 14- I got two little boys late last night and didn’t go to bed until midnight. I was up at 5:30am to start getting kids up and about for school. I ate most of my breakfast but my two new ones 4 and 5 decided my fruit looked better then their cereal and kept stealing my berries. They are super cute, so I let it happen.

Worked out today and napped. Not much else. Keeping up with three little kids and two med sized kids takes a lot of energy! However I did feel good on the fruit only 🙂

Were the World Mine

Standard


Were the World Mine is a sweet indie movie, about a young gay boy living in a small town. He is picked on and shunned by most of the boys in his all-boys school. Then Shakespeare comes along. The senior play is A Midsummer’s Nights Dream and magic happens. *girly sigh*

I love the mom in this movie, she’s a normal, average woman who is trying to do right by her son, but is angry and resentful at all she’s had to give up.She’s human and hurting, and trying so hard.

Anyway, it’s a lovely movie, I’ve watched it twice.

Amazons, Jelly Beans, and Marcy Kennedy

Standard


The lovely and talented Marcy Kennedy stopped by to hang out today.

Marcy Kennedy is a fantasy author who also works as a freelance writer for magazines, newspapers, and non-profits and a freelance editor for both businesses and individuals. Her current work-in-progress is a co-written historical fantasy about Amazons. When she’s not wrestling unruly commas, she spends her time with her equally nerdy husband, her Great Dane, and more cats than she’s willing to admit to in public. You can visit her at her blog, Life At Warp 10 where science fiction, fantasy, and real life collide, or connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, or Pinterest.

1- When the zombie apocalypse comes what is going to be your weapon of choice?

My husband and I actually had a little debate about this. He thought the best choice would be a shotgun because a regular bullet isn’t going to stop a zombie—you need to blow their head off. I argued that a shot gun takes too long to reload, and by the time you do, the rest of the zombie hoard has eaten your brains. I thought a flame thrower would be better. You can take out multiple zombies at once without the need to reload, but my husband pointed out that I’d eventually run out of fuel. We decided the best weapon when the zombie apocalypse comes is actually going to be a sword. Yes, it requires close quarters, but you never have to reload and you never run out of fuel or ammo.

I agree a sword is a very good choice.

2- What do you think werewolf musk smells like?

Like skunk. I know that sounds weird, but something that smells bad when it’s strong can smell good when it’s incredibly faint.

That’s a interesting idea. I hadn’t thought about a faint skunk odor smelling good.

3- What mad-ass survival skill do you have?

I guess that depends on whether you’re looking for Hunger Games-type survival skills or end-of-the-world survival skills. But I’m a great hider. I rocked hide-and-seek as a kid and everyone wanted me on their team for capture the flag in university because I’d disappear in one spot and turn up in another. And you can’t kill me if you can’t find me 😉

Hiding is highly under rated as a survival skill. It does make me think of Aliens when they found the little girl hiding in the vents when the rest of the colony had died.

4- We’re all supposed to be eating healthy, but what naughty treat tempts you the most?


Only one? Can I combine them? Like create a jelly bean topped cheesecake filled with ice cream? Ooo, and with a brownie crust. And use buttercream frosting to hold the jelly beans in place on top…I think I better stop now. I’m getting hungry.

You are in charge of all desserts.

5- What do you love most about your current book?

I love the chance to take a historical setting and add fantasy elements to it. My current book is co-written with Lisa Hall-Wilson and focuses on the Scythians (who were a real society that terrorized the Greeks) and the Amazons (who were myth). Because we both love history, we relished the research element for the Scythians. And I loved the world-building involved with the Amazons.

How fun! At this time in my life I don’t have the time to research well enough to do a historical novel, but I do have some ideas bouncing around in my wee little brain.

Marcy thank you so much for visiting with me today. I had a great time getting to know you better.