Since I am a writer, my brain is a special place. And I frequently have random weird thoughts pop into my head which turn into random weird scenarios and then into random weird fears.
One such weird fear is, what if I had to date again???
I am currently married and if I haven’t scared him off by now,—it’s been sixteen years (Holy shit really?)—then he’s probably not going anywhere. Kind of like life in prison, sure there are bars, but now you’re used to it, and it’s home.
Anyway I saw one of those online matching people services and wondered who would pick me if I put up a profile. Which got me to wonder about dating. Which quickly turned into fear as my entire dating experience is from high school.
I won’t talk about it, but I almost died of embarrassment just thinking about how I acted back then. In theory I would behave differently now, but what if I didn’t? What if I reverted back to sixteen every time I met a guy I liked? What if I used the same classy, sexy, seductive moves to let them know I wanted to be kissed?
TMI, but I just threw up a little in my mouth at the thought.
I am sure there are books, counselors, aversion therapists that could help me out IF hubby ever broke free of the chains. I DO keep them padded for his comfort. And seriously we have two kids, shouldn’t I be more worried about them, or money, or something real then if I’ll act like a clueless sixteen year old if I go on a date?
But such is the brain of writers. We create worlds, people, monsters, and fantasy. Unfortunately our own life is often at risk of such nefarious godlike plotting.
What are your irrational fears? Come on you have to have something better than spiders.