Tag Archives: humor

Purveyor Of Wizened Wisdom

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I think I need a wizards hat and maybe a crystal ball.  Hat created by secretlondon

I think I need a wizards hat and maybe a crystal ball.
Hat created by secretlondon

So there I am lying in bed my body racked with fever and doused with Nyquil (okay Walgreen store brand Nyquil) when my dear daughter walks in and begins to complain about … well… pretty much everything.

As she complained I felt a deep connection to something grater. I became a conduit for Wizened Wisdom.

DD: Mom I don’t want to go to martial arts tomorrow morning. Logan said he was working so I was expecting to stay home and really I just don’t feel like going.

Me: She who pokes tigers with sticks must learn to fight the beast.

DD: What the hell was that? Was that an answer? DAD! something is wrong with mom!

Me: I am a purveyor of Wizened Wisdom; you should feel blessed to be in my presence.

DD: (snorts) Whatever. Hey mom I think it’s stupid to go to school on Monday. We have Tuesday off and no one is even going to go to school. It’ll just be me and I’ll be bored and lonely and we won’t even learn anything important.

Me: It is only through adversity that a blade becomes sharp and strong, my little warrior princess.

DD: OMG I can’t even talk to you! DAD! get control of your wife.

DH: You can go clean up now.

DD has let her mom’s friend paint her face for Day of the Dead. It looks amazing but needs to be washed off. I doze off then wake and hear the water running. It sounds like it’s just the sink.

Me: Is Tala washing her face in the sink?

DH: No she’s taking a shower.

Me: Oh, good, because one should not use a brook when the power of a waterfall is needed.

DH: For the love of all that is holy, stop talking and go to sleep.

Me: It is only in silence the truth can be heard.

DH: What does that even mean??

My family didn’t really appreciate my Wizened Wisdom, but I think it’s because they were overwhelmed by the power of my words.

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