As many of you may know from previous posts, I tend to allow fear to rule far too much of what I do. The horror stories about traveling echo through my head drowning out the millions who travel with no problems at all, or even the ones who write about their amazing, beautiful experiences which changed their lives.
Why? Why do I do this? Why do I allow the 1 in 100,000 chance that something awful could happen stop me from enjoying life?
In my heart I am brave. In my dreams of the perfect future I travel all over the world with my family, and the thought fills me with such joy. And yet even crossing into Mexico to go to Rocky Point, which is all about tourists, scares me so much I want to throw up. Once I’m there, I’m okay, but the border crossing and driving down there cause all the bad stories to rush through my head.
I want to feel the excitement of traveling and the joy of meeting new people and experiencing new things. I want to be prepared for the what ifs but not weighted down by them.
Of course being a writer ,I can take a simple what if and turn it into a Stephen King horror story, so that doesn’t help.
What do I do? How do I prepare for what could happen without making myself even more fearful? How do I keep in mind safety rules without getting so scared that I won’t leave my house? How do I soak in how amazing life is and experience all the joy I can without having a panic attack?
I’m hoping my “writing in gratitude” journal will help re-program my brain. I am also going to hunt down more videos like this one to remind me that yes there are risks in life, but the joy is so worth it.