Okay, everyone, I need some help picking a bio. Feel free to tweak them as I am open to all help.
“Wait,” you cry, “there is no mention of shirtless men in kilts chained to your bed! Alica has been replaced by a pod person! Get your flamethrowers and let’s go save her!”
STOP. While I am thankful for your concern and willingness to burn aliens for me, the first series of books I am putting out is YA.
Yes, I can write ‘clean-ish’ enough for YA. Yes, I’m serious. Yes, in book three there is a guy in a kilt.
I choose to write a YA series because I spend so much of my time writing that I wanted something my kids could also read. Of course I decided this five years ago foolishly thinking I would have my book ready in a year. Wow, was I ever that naive?
Anyway, I still need your help to pick a fun bio that won’t scare YA readers too badly.
Alica spent the first thirty years of her life walking around with stories constantly running through her head. She never thought of herself as a writer due to her poor spelling and grammar. When the story would stop she wrote it down. Then one day—like a savior in a shining breastplate—a woman with vision, excellent taste, and mad editing skills swooped into Alica’s life and slayed her mistakes, allowing all to read the fantastic stories running through her mind.
In the mundane world Alica is houseparent to an ever-changing collection kids, ranging from 2-12 depending on the time of day. Wife of one amazing husband who helps plot, works out fight scenes, cooks, and always has a stash of chocolate ready. She also startles easily because no matter what she’s doing Alica is always plotting her next great novel.
Being told she was a horrible speller and would never learn to use a comma correctly, Alica never thought to write down the stories she constantly had running through her head. Doesn’t everyone daydream about flying on a spaceship while walking to school?
Not until she was thirty did Alica dare to write down any of the people living exciting lives in her head. The relief was instantaneous. By giving them life on the page they could be released from her mind and given greater adventures.
As her books grew in size and the voices in her head learned to wait their turn, Alica found a loyal group to journey with. Women who would help her slay her commas, and use their magical gifts to traverse plot holes, transform words into their proper spelling, and release characters from any Mary Sue spells they might be under.
In-between magical adventures, Alica is mom to two personal kids, five foster kids, has one exceptional hubby, a bunny she knows is plotting her death, and some fish, aka her daughter’s minions.