Irrational Fears, Dating

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Since I am a writer, my brain is a special place. And I frequently have random weird thoughts pop into my head which turn into random weird scenarios and then into random weird fears.

One such weird fear is, what if I had to date again???

I am currently married and if I haven’t scared him off by now,—it’s been sixteen years (Holy shit really?)—then he’s probably not going anywhere. Kind of like life in prison, sure there are bars, but now you’re used to it, and it’s home.

Anyway I saw one of those online matching people services and wondered who would pick me if I put up a profile. Which got me to wonder about dating. Which quickly turned into fear as my entire dating experience is from high school.

I won’t talk about it, but I almost died of embarrassment just thinking about how I acted back then. In theory I would behave differently now, but what if I didn’t? What if I reverted back to sixteen every time I met a guy I liked? What if I used the same classy, sexy, seductive moves to let them know I wanted to be kissed?

TMI, but I just threw up a little in my mouth at the thought.

I am sure there are books, counselors, aversion therapists that could help me out IF hubby ever broke free of the chains. I DO keep them padded for his comfort. And seriously we have two kids, shouldn’t I be more worried about them, or money, or something real then if I’ll act like a clueless sixteen year old if I go on a date?

But such is the brain of writers. We create worlds, people, monsters, and fantasy. Unfortunately our own life is often at risk of such nefarious godlike plotting.

What are your irrational fears? Come on you have to have something better than spiders.

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8 responses »

  1. Bears. I’ve been afraid of bears since I was a kid. I had a scary, giant stuffed panda that was bigger than I was. Very scary. My dad used to sing me the song about ‘the bear came over the mountain to see what he could see.’ Innocuous, yes? Not to me. I was sure that bear was going to come over the mountain and get me. I’ve been scared of bears all my life.

  2. My most irrational fear? I’m not sure it’s irrational, but here it is. When the apocalypse comes (take your pick in what form) I’m afraid I will be too old and feeble to fight.

  3. I thought of another irrational fear as I was driving home the other day. Bicyclists sharing the road terrify me. I have this awful vision that one of them is going to hit a bump or a stone or something and fall over right in front of me. I’m afraid I won’t be able to stop and that I will run over one of them. I try to move over into another lane if possible, or give them maximum room if not. I wish the city would put more room for the bike lane.

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