The Hand Clap of Death

zumba, Alica Mckenna-Johnson

Photo by ilovememphis

So my friends, or supposed friends who I work out with, wanted to try Zumba at our gym. It’s fun; I enjoy the music; the teacher has enough perky energy to run Disneyland, and in my head I look magnificent. Of course in my head I also still look 16.

So there I am bouncing around following the steps. I’m sure I looked like a drunk elephant, but in my head I’m graceful. Since I am totally willing to live in my own reality, everything was just fine. Until the teacher added a clap to the steps. In my head it didn’t seem like a big deal; however, in the cruel florescent light of reality, my brain stopped working when I tried to clap.

zumba, Alica Mckenna-Johnson

Photo by Cimm

I froze.

My feet twisted into some warped version of a salsa move with my arms flailing around my head. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t figure out how to do the steps. My poor brain was overtaxed with trying to convince me I really was looking like my sixteen-year-old self rocking the Zumba. All short circuited because of a single clap.

I laughed, what else was there to do? I shook my arms and legs, laughed again and began to do whatever weird concoction of moves the teacher put together, but I didn’t try to clap again.

Are you good at choreography-style workouts? Can you clap in the middle of a set of steps without frying your brain?

12 responses »

  1. Can’t say that I’ve ever really tried too many choreographed workouts, but if I did, I would be the drunk elephant right there beside ya. If I get my body doing too many things, everything falls apart it seems. Lots of moving for me ends up looking like a person that is drowning on land!

  2. Zumba gets easier the more you do it. I can almost do the entire 60 min. workout DVD without pausing the damn thing. I still can’t do some of the moves the same way they can but I don’t really worry about that too much. I still do want to kill all of the people on the DVD at the end of the workout but I really don’t see that changing anytime soon.

    • I am keeping up pretty good, as long as I don’t clap! Doesn’t every one feel homicidal rage at the end of a workout where perky fit people still look good while you look like a red faced dieing lunatic? There needs a be a set of angry/goth/emo/punk workout tapes

  3. That’s the kind of thing that happens to me, too. The brain just shuts down.

    For fun, next time you’re in the pool, try to do jumping jack legs with cross-country arms. Your brain will fry!

  4. I have done Zumba quite a bit. Here’s what I’ve learned: If I get confused, I have to drop everything else and focus on the footwork. Once I have that down, I can add hands. But if I try to learn both at once, I can get lost. You are not alone! 🙂

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