Monthly Archives: April 2013

My Dad Was A Stripper

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Alica Mckenna Johnson, stripper

Photo by amaianos

When I was little I couldn’t pronounce what my father did for a living. Lithographer was simply too difficult. However, within the printing industry my father’s job was called ‘stripper’ because he cut out and assembled strips of film.

I can still remember being five and my friend’s parents asking me what my dad did for a living. I would smile all cute with my read hair in pig tails and freckles decorating my nose and say, “My dad is a stripper.” A look of shocked horror passed over their faces then I would quickly add. “But not the kind who takes off his clothes.” And then I would explain what he did.

As I got older, I enjoyed the shock and I would pause for a moment before explaining what he really did. I was able to pronounce lithographer for years before I stopped saying stripping was my father’s profession.
Yes, I was evil. Did you expect anything different? And seriously, if you have met my dad, you don’t expect anything different for me. He thought it was just as funny as I did.

Alica Mckenna Johnson

My Dad

Classiness for the Geek

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Reading Fan Girl, Downton Abbey, charm bracelet ,

Downton Abbey Charm bracelet photo from Reading Fan Girl


Every once in a while too horrific happens, and I have to dress up. And not just jeans instead of yoga pants paired with one of my nicer pop culture tee shirts instead of an older faded one. I mean shower, dust off the heels, wear grown-up stylish clothes, and possibly apply make-up. But even though I’m all dressed up, I still want to be me. So how do I honor my geeky fangirl soul and fit in at whatever function I’m being forced to go to?

Thankfully there is ReadingFanGirl on etsy. She has classy, beautiful jewelry that is subtle enough to pass inspection from the non-geeks but fangirly enough that other geeks in the room will send you nods of camaraderie, as they too have been forced to conform for the night.

Rose Brown creates Harry Potter jewelry such as Hermione’s Time Turner.

Time tuner, Alica Mckenna Johnson, Reading Fan Girl, Harry Potter

Time Turner, by Reading Fan Girl

Charm bracelets for Sherlock, Downton Abbey, and The Hunger Games.

Alica Mckeann Johnson, Sherlock, Reading Fan girl charm bracelet

Sherlock charm bracelet, by Reading Fan Girl

The sweetest hobbit doors.

Hobbit, necklace, Alica Mckenna Johnson, Reading Fan Girl

Hobbit Door by Reading Fan Girl

Plus much more. It would be hard for me to choose just one item! Do you have a favorite?

ReadingFanGirl has a 99% satisfaction rating. And you can follow her on Facebook

Alice in Wonderland by Reading Fan Girl

Alice in Wonderland by Reading Fan Girl

What Would You Eat?

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docguy, apocalypse, ice cream

Photo by docguy

The apocalypse is coming, you have a week before it gets here. So, what would you eat?

I know you don’t have to get ready. I mean, come on, you’ve already packed your bug-out bag and carefully marked caches of food and supplies in route to the perfect place to hole up and survive the End Times haven’t you? The only real worry you should have is whether the Event kills the people already living there, or are you going to have to do the job? And if they die on the carpet, how will you get it clean if there is no electricity?

Please don’t die on the carpet!

apocalypse, mango, magoes,

Photo by Tatters:)

Anyway while planning and plotting you’ll need to eat. Will you eat healthy so you can be at your peak physical ability? Or will you desperately gorge on foods that you love with all your heart?

There are foods out there you might not see again for a long time, if ever. So what will you eat? Which restaurants will you go to? What foods will you savor as bitter tears of sadness roll down your cheeks?

apoclypse, avacadoes, avacado

Photo by ercskiff

On my list: ice cream, avocado enchiladas, pad Thai, mangoes, shrimp, and egg rolls until my eyes roll back into my head.

Post Cupcake Sadness

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Photo by thesparechangekitchen

Photo by thesparechangekitchen


My loving husband bought me gluten free chocolate cupcakes. For the sake of my sanity, we won’t discuss the calorie count of these amazing treats. Before I ate my cupcake, I asked my daughter to make one of the gluten free cake mixes.

She rolled her eyes and asked why. Um, hello, post cupcake sadness. She looked at me as if she didn’t know what I was talking about.

Post cupcake sadness is a serious condition. While eating one’s cupcake there is happiness and joy, which can last for a while. But the next day, or a few short hours later, when there is no cupcake, there is much sadness, wishing one had waited to eat the cupcake, and hoping cupcakes will magically appear.

But now there won’t be the horrible post cupcake sadness. Now I can go and have a yummy piece of cake, and all will be right with the Universe again.

Photo by Lynn Kelly Author

Photo by Lynn Kelly Author

See, it’s all about being prepared.

How do you prepare for life’s difficult moments?

A Geek Girls To-Do List

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Tom Hiddleston, Alica Mckenna Johnson

Photo by Michelle Wright

We all have to-do lists. Lists of chores, errands, projects, phones calls—it goes on and on and on, until we want to crawl into bed and cry. But I have two to-do lists: the crappy one, and the one I wish I could devote all my time to. My Geek Girl To-Do List.

First there are books—books in series that I am in the middle of and addicted to. Books in series that I haven’t started yet. Classics that every good fantasy/ sci-fi fangirl has at least tried to read, and of course the books I loved enough I want to re-read them.

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This alone can take a lifetime, but I’m not done yet, because as a dedicated fangirl there is more on my list.
I have several actors and actresses whose shows I love and whose characters I love, and this means I must watch everything they have ever been in. I know you understand the need to obsessively, um, support their career.

Benedict Cumberbatch, Alica Mckenna Johnson

Photo by honeyfitz

And of course there are writers and directors whose long list of works I need to watch. I mean if they can turn me into a squealing fangirl for one show, I must check out the others. I might be missing something brilliant!

And as all good fans must know, there are shows and movies I need to re-watch. I mean, come on, what kind of a fangirl can’t quote and act out her favorite lines? And to do that takes dedication and repeatedly watching movies and shows over and over again.

Firefly cast, Alica Mckenna Johnson

Photo by Gage Skidmore

I also must watch the newest trailers so I can prepare emotionally for the new awesomeness that people are creating and offering up to us, their loyal followers.

It’s a lot of work, and commitment goes along with being a fan, and so far I have avoided gaming (I don’t have the time but I hope to start someday), and I don’t make videos or make fun witty photos.

How much time do you dedicate to your fandoms?

Debauchery in Kenya

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Heat of the Sun, Hide in Plain Sight, Alica Mckenna-Johnson
Heat of the Sun: Hide in Plain Sight

Apparently in the early 1900s Kenya was a hotbed of debauchery. People could go to Kenya and start new lives, be out and proud, and eventually the past would catch up to them, and then they would have to murder someone.

Heat of the Sun is a fun and interesting BBC crime drama. Kenya is a beautiful setting, and seeing a glimpse of life there during the 1930s was so interesting.

I found Supt. Albert Tyburn, played by Trevor Eve, to be charming and intelligent. Both my husband and I enjoyed watching him unravel the crime, find a way to keep his moral code, and follow the orders of his superior.

Computer Geeks, Accessorize!!!

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Gifts for Geeks, Alica Mckenna Johnson

Picture from GeekkiBoutikki

GeekkiBoutikki is a fun little Etsy shop that allows you to show your computer geek pride and look amazing at the same time.

The owner, Roxy, uses old floppy disks to make pencil holders, boxes, and purses. Perfect for the eco geek who wants to be très chic. 🙂

Gifts for Geeks, Alica Mckenna-Johnson

Picture from GeekkiBoutikki


She also makes jewelry from delicate silver chains and translucent, blue, electrical components. A perfect way to weed out potential partners; if they don’t recognize what your necklace is made of, they aren’t the man or woman for you. Multipurpose accessories are always a good thing. 🙂

Picture from GeekkiBoutikki

Picture from GeekkiBoutikki

GeekkiBoutikki has a 100% satisfactory rating, and Roxy has been generous enough to offer all of us a 20% discount code!! So go and shop for yourself, for an upcoming geeky friend’s birthday or perhaps start stockpiling for Christmas, and then type in this code: GKBTK1 and get 20% off!

Picture from GeekkiBoutikki

Picture from GeekkiBoutikki

The Hand Clap of Death

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zumba, Alica Mckenna-Johnson

Photo by ilovememphis

So my friends, or supposed friends who I work out with, wanted to try Zumba at our gym. It’s fun; I enjoy the music; the teacher has enough perky energy to run Disneyland, and in my head I look magnificent. Of course in my head I also still look 16.

So there I am bouncing around following the steps. I’m sure I looked like a drunk elephant, but in my head I’m graceful. Since I am totally willing to live in my own reality, everything was just fine. Until the teacher added a clap to the steps. In my head it didn’t seem like a big deal; however, in the cruel florescent light of reality, my brain stopped working when I tried to clap.

zumba, Alica Mckenna-Johnson

Photo by Cimm

I froze.

My feet twisted into some warped version of a salsa move with my arms flailing around my head. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t figure out how to do the steps. My poor brain was overtaxed with trying to convince me I really was looking like my sixteen-year-old self rocking the Zumba. All short circuited because of a single clap.

I laughed, what else was there to do? I shook my arms and legs, laughed again and began to do whatever weird concoction of moves the teacher put together, but I didn’t try to clap again.

Are you good at choreography-style workouts? Can you clap in the middle of a set of steps without frying your brain?

Please State Your Subject Before You Speak

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Alica Mckenna Johnson

My poor abused hubby, I think he’s ignoring me.

So, conversations with me can be a multidimensional event.

I’ll start a conversation, one line, in my head, in an email, and then start talking out loud, frequently to my husband, who for some reason hasn’t yet mastered the art of reading my mind an therefore has no idea what I’m talking about.

Here is an example:

Me (looking up from my computer): Logan, the book definitely has homosexual themes.

Logan (my 18 year old son): Okay.

Me (frustrated sigh): The book you are reading for school.

Logan (laughing): Oh okay. I wasn’t sure if you meant the book you wrote, or the one you’re writing, or some new plot you’re working on, or a book you read, or a fanfiction.

Rod (hubby bows and spreads his arms): Welcome to my world.

I glare at them all, just because the conversation started in an email with a friend didn’t mean they shouldn’t have known exactly what I’m talking about!

So how do I adjust to fit the lack or unwillingness of my family to maintain a psychic connection with them at all times in case I need to speak to them?

I announce the subject before I start speaking.

Example

Me (walking into a room): Phoenix Child, book one.

Hubby (sighs and continues folding laundry): Okay, go.

Me (ignoring the sigh): So what do think Sara would drink after being attacked by a walk-in while recovering at a trendy San Francisco café?

Hubby: Water?

Me (snorting): No, it’s cold. It needs to be something hot.

Hubby: Tea?

Me: she’s not British. (rest of conversation completed in head). Oh, great perfect, and the shot of caramel really shows her hidden girly side. Thanks honey.

Hubby shakes his head in awe of my awesomeness and continues to fold the clothes.

Are you a multidimensional conversationalist? How do you start conversations with your family that started in your head?