Monthly Archives: September 2012

Being Kidnapped for Breakfast

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Photographer SEPpics

When I was in high school, we had a birthday tradition. If it was your birthday, your friends would plot and plan and (with your parent’s permission) they would sneak into your bedroom and wake you up with loud, off-key singing.

Photographer Bill Bradford


Next you would be pulled out of bed, have slippers shoved onto your feet, possibly have make-up put on you by people who claim to be friends but really want you to look like a drunk clown, and then be taken out to breakfast. Yes, you are dragged from your warm, comfy bed looking like an escaped mental patient and taken into a public place.

After breakfast was school, where flowers and/or balloons were added to your festive ensemble, completing your look. Teachers would roll their eyes. Fellow students would laugh. Thank goodness there were no camera phones back then!! You would shuffle through your day blushing and wishing you had a hairbrush in your locker.

Photographer genildo

It was the best! I got kidnapped for my birthday several times and loved each one. It was always something to look forward to. Birthdays haven’t been that exciting in a long time.

What do you miss from high school? Have you ever been kidnapped for your birthday?

I love Workbooks

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Photographed by psd


Not spelling or math or boring workbooks, but the ones that go with self-help/self-growth books. I LOVE THEM. I have this thing for delving into my own emotional world/ psyche / mental state.

Unfortunately for my husband, I can’t always answer the questions. I mean how can I possibly judge how many times per week I am irrational? Or, if the Zombie Apocalypse comes, who will be the first person I will kill? I can’t answer important questions like these on my own; I need help.

Hubby has spent many, many hours helping me answer questions in workbooks, personality tests, and internet quizzes. He somehow manages to be honest without reducing me to tears. He is truly a gifted man.


I can’t remember any of the results of any of these. I’ve done Myers-Brigg’s, Enneagram, and which Star Trek character I am. I can’t remember any of them.

Of course what’s scary is that, depending on my mood at the moment, the answers can be very, very different.
There are the me-I-wish-I-were answers.

Then the bottom-of-the-well-depressed answers.

And of course the feeling-good-productive-type-A answers.

Which can lead me to be three completely different Star Trek characters. If I’m PMS-ing, I always get
Klingon.

Do you remember the “Purity Test” from high school? I took a psychology class as a senior, and my big end-of-year project was about sexual deviance. Yes, I have always been this way. My teacher was impressed that I could talk about such a subject and answer questions without giggling or blushing 🙂

I passed out 100 purity tests to the students. The other teachers weren’t so happy about that. I think the purity test was the first test I took, and it got me hooked.

I also love those books of questions, anything from “What’s your dream vacation?” to “Would you strangle a child if you could end all disease and suffering on the planet?” I love delving into who I am. Well, truthfully, I love doing just about anything that revolves around ME!

Do you have a favorite quiz, personality test, workbook, or book of questions?

And if you go and take the Purity Test make sure to let me know how pure you are 🙂

Also here is a link to get your fandom card. Find out: What house you would be sorted into in Harry Potter. What District you would live in for the Hunger Games. What alien you would be in Star Trek. And much more! So much fun

Korean Teens, Blog Fun, and an Update

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Can’t get enough teen RomComs?

I know they get formulaic and trite after a while, which is why you should watch My Tutor Friend 2, a Korean teen RomCom. It is cute, with lots of Korean culture which makes the story unique, well, for non-Koreans at least. There are the misunderstands, pranks, teasing, confusion, deep emotional trauma, and the hot guys and girls that we need in all our teen RomComs, with the added bonus of learning more about life of college kids in Korea.

This was fun silly movie. I enjoyed it and would watch it again.

Sorry the only trailer I could fine is in Korean

Sorry between being sick and jury duty I didn’t have time to read blogs 😦 I will bring you extra special ones next week.

Emotionally abusive books*

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*I have stolen this phrase from my good friend Kim. She’s writing a book which I’m hoping won’t smack me around too much.

I have several books that I am afraid to open. I’m not afraid of bad writing. I’m not worried that I will get sucked into a new world and not get anything done- my family is used to that. I am afraid of getting into an emotionally abusive relationship with the book.

I’m worried about getting sucked into an amazing world and not being able to leave, even though I am pissed, scared, or crying my eyes out.

Photographer Ale Paiva


Good writing is like a tight pair of jeans and a black leather jacket on a fine body.

Unless I dislike the book, I can’t/won’t put it down. I will continue to read and even read the sequels. I don’t know why I pick up the next one; maybe it’s the vain and pathetic hope that this time the author won’t rip my heart out and stomp all over it.

I will rant and rave, driving my husband nuts, until he bans me from reading more just so I will regain some semblance of “emotionally sane.”

“No,” I cry out at the very thought of not reading more, even knowing it’s going to hurt and leave me feeling shaky.
So instead, I try to not begin reading them. I try to not even buy them, but eventually someone will give me one. Game of Thrones, which is currently taunting me, I got free at Comic Con. I know I’ll love it, let it take me over, and it will beat me up, leaving me black and blue and turning the page with trembling fingers.

So far I have resisted, but I know I won’t last much longer.

Do you read emotionally abusive books? Do you hide from them or jump right into them with tissues and bruise cream in hand?

I have the plague

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Okay so not the plague, but I ate something I shouldn’t have and now my stomach is twisting into painful knots and I’m running a fever- about 102 😦 Of course I have a 2yr old at work so I was able to rest during his nap but I’m having to be all functional and stuff.

Anyway point being I don’t have a blog post ready and I don’t have the mental functioning to write anything. So I have found a video on youtube that makes me smile and I hope it makes your Monday a bit brighter.

And I can’t help it- I have to add this one 🙂

A Brand New Day, Awesome Blogs, and an Update

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A Brand New Day is a musical set in 1960s Australia. It is a funny look at the life of an aboriginal boy who is being shipping off to seminary school in the city. He is forced to leave behind his mum and the girl he loves but hasn’t yet had the courage to talk to.

Captain Barbosa makes a wonderful priest who chases our wayward hero from the big city through the outback. Our hero is propositioned for sex many times, is helped by a very stuff hippy and bursts into song frequently.

This is a fun, campy movie. I enjoyed myself and would probably watch it again.

Sorry I could find a trailer 😦

ACK I feel asleep before updating the fun blogs for the week and I have Sherlock LOL’s to share!!!

August reminds us that our workout and our social media should be and can be fun!

Is Benedict Cumberbatch (Sherlock) an otter?

Jon Crispin is a photographer who has an amazing “Suitcase” project, here are the photos from one of the suitcases

Pouters Block

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Photographer AndrewEick


Writers frequently complain about having writers block. We bemoan the loss of our muse and we sip scotch from hand cut crystal glasses. We leaf through travel brochures trying to decide which tropical island our muse has flown to and whether our muse would run from coconut scent sun screen or should we buy the unscented?

We wallow in creative angst desperate to reconnect to the creative flow of the universe, that magical life-affirming energy which is our crack. With a soul-weary sigh, we fondle the keys on our laptop and try to stifle the tears of loss as our inspired genius remains silent and elusive.

And that, boys and girls, is what writer’s block looks like to a writer. And it is very difficult, and a total crock, but still challenging for a writer to work through.

I, however, do not suffer from existential, soul draining writers block. I suffer from pouter’s block: yes it’s a real thing!

You see I have difficulty blending reality and fantasy. Shocking, I know. I did my research and I fully understood that as a new indie author the average number of books I was going to sell would be around 80. I knew in the small logical portion of my brain that I would need to have several books for sale, and continue to build my brand/platform/presence. I was aware this would take time and work.

However, in the interest of “knowing my goals,” “creative visualization,” and The Secret, I was already thinking about what I would wear on my interview with Oprah, plotting the terms I would need to have in my movie contract, and worrying if I could be clever enough to be on Rove. He’s so sharp!

My husband in his wisdom said, “Don’t worry; once you have about twenty books for sale, then you’ll be bringing in a good income.”

20!!!! Does he know how much time a book takes to write, edit, and publish? OMG! That’s forever! I’ll be dead before I reach 20 books!

And so, even though I know I would continue to do what I love even if I didn’t get paid, because writing is my passion, my art, and the only way to quiet the voices in my head, the hope/dream/expectation of more makes me long for what I don’t have instead of enjoying where I’m at.


So for now, I will tuck away my Oprah outfit and enjoy this time to do some more crunches, I’ve heard the camera adds 10 lbs! I will refine my “deal breakers for a movie contract, and I will watch more Rove and read lots of witty stuff so I can be a fabulous guest and will be asked back.

How do you balance your hopes and dreams with reality? Are you able to see this as a step towards your goals or are you curled in a ball eating Ho-Ho’s and Cheetos?

Spare Brides, Awesomeness, and Updates

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The Decoy Bride stars David Tennant, Kelly Macdonald, and Alice Eve. A super sweet romantic comedy from BBC, as if anything with David Tennant would be bad.

Anyway, in a desperate and pathetic attempt to avoid the paparazzi, David Tennant gets a decoy bride and runs over to a tiny island where the biggest tourist attraction is a public toilet haunted by a cow. I laughed as they avoided photographers, crazy locals, and wildlife.

It is so sweet, I cried several times, and if the old couple dancing doesn’t touch your heart, then you might be a Cyber Man.

I got a lot done, but again no writing this week- well I wrote some blogs and a bit on my ghost romance, but I’m not back in the swing of things. I did go to the gym 4 times- 2 of them personal training torture sessions and I did yoga with the kids 5 times this past week. I need to find space and time for my writing- this is a huge priority!

Blogs of awesomeness!

Growing up if we want to reach our dreams we need to be mature, Kristen Lamb shows us that it’s not so painful.

Do we need the Happily Ever After? Kait Nolan explores the genius of Joss Whedon.

Push yourself, don’t give up, and accept the challenge. Words of advice from belly dancer Kamrah.

For Sherlock fans- this is hysterical and we need to find the farm!!!

Condoms are not one size fits all.

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Photographer Dan4th


I was on the phone with my BFF Heather,and we were talking about giving our kids “the talk.” Both of us are huge advocates of repeating “You must always wear a condom.” Until our kids ears bleed. This got me thinking that I should update my stash of condoms. While I feel, and have told my son, if he’s man enough to have sex, then he’s man enough to buy his own condoms. I want to make sure he has them because come on— teens don’t always make the best choices.
So back to the point of updating my condom stash, it suddenly dawned on me at 38 that condoms come in different sizes, and how does one tell what size condom he needs?

Is the extra large on the box just an ego trip, or does it really mean something?

So I went to all mighty Google and Googled “How do I tell what size condom to buy?”

Apparently, there is a size chart.

Sssoooooooo, does this mean I need to have my son measure himself so I can buy the right sized condoms, cause that’s not information I want to know.

Should I let him know there is a sizing difference? Do I say this to him, or just send him a link in an email? I think posting it on his Facebook wall would be tacky.

And did you know how many different types of condoms there are? They even have ones you can get pictures printed onto. I have a deep heartfelt feeling that if I was single and some guy put on a condom with a picture printed on it, that I would no longer be interested in having sex with said person.

For lots of condom fun check out this website-

From Should to Sheldon

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Photo by MelodyJSandoval


I am by nature a brat. Through a healthy diet, proper sleep, exercise, and a strong routine, I can get a lot done. But if one of these is messed up, everything is in jeopardy.

I do my best to stick to my goals and routines, and settle back into who I want to be. However, there is a guaranteed self-destruct button labeled should.

If I can’t get myself back on track inevitably I was say to myself, “Hey, Alica, you should___________.” It doesn’t matter what is in that blank: take a shower, chop some veggies, eat fruit, write a bit more. Suddenly I’m sitting on my ass, reading, and eating potato chips. From the bag—no portioned controlled bowl for me!

I try, I really do. I try to use “could,” as in “I could write for an hour.” But “could” is just a “should” in skinny jeans and a Duran Duran tee shirt.

Now “need,” if backed by my boss, the stench from my body, or a pink bill, will get me moving again. But I can tell a fake “need” from an actual “You will be in trouble if you don’t do this need.”

This sounds amazingly childish, and honestly it really is childish, but this is who I am. Apparently I get things done when someone in a position of authority expects something from me. Getting stuff done on my own, for myself, not so good.

Pathetic right? And not such a good fit for a self-publishing author.

I’ve tried different things, but really it comes down to tempting myself into doing something as one would a small child. “Just do ten minutes. You can even set the timer. Just write for ten minutes and then you can have a piece of candy.”

This will usually result in my remembering that I love writing and I write for a while once I get warmed up.
This also works with chores, and even food. Hey, just add a cup of fruit to your lunch, the rest can be Cheetos.
What is crazy and the most depressing, if I think about it, is that I like having a clean house. I like eating healthy foods. Most of the things I resist doing ,I enjoy, or at least enjoy the outcome.

Photographed by brunurb
Come on Evens I need to pee!


I feel ridiculous, like Sheldon so wrapped up in only doing what the dice allow him to do, he can’t even go to the bathroom! Hey wait, maybe that would work! Maybe when I get like this I could just roll the dice: evens I do something productive for a while, odds I sit and read. That way I’d have a 50% chance of getting something done during the day!

I could roll as I complete a task, or end a chapter. OMG! The Big Bang Theory is brilliant. This changes everything, I’ll just become like Sheldon!

What do you think, do I have a good plan? And, by the way, I hate to be rude but you’re in my spot.