A habit to change or accepting it’s who I am?


We all have things we would like to change about ourselves. If you’re anything like me you have a long list stained with tears of frustration and chocolate finger prints. But how do you tell the difference between a bad habit that you need to change and accepting this is simply part of who you are?

Let me give you an example.

When I am doing something new and scary I hide. Not like curled in the closet under blankets, but I don’t go out, I don’t answer the phone, and I spend as much time reading as possible. I have done this for as long as I can remember.

You can’t see me.

It’s not simply things like trying a new recipe that will send me into hiding, but something big. Putting myself out into the world. A new job. Anything that makes me feel vulnerable, I hide. And as all good hiders know, you need good snacks when you hide; sticking, of course, to the four food groups: salty, crunchy, gooey, and sweet.

Is this something I should force myself out of, or accept? So far the mental berating of getting off my ass and acting like a grown up hasn’t helped much.

I’m not completely dysfunctional. I will go to the gym with my friend. I go to work. And I will still write (sometimes), and, yes, reading is important for a writer. Enough happens that I can put a good spin on the whole event. The few times I have accepted this is part of who I am, the faster I went through the cycle. So I’m thinking this is something to accept about myself, and the next time I know I’m going to feel vulnerable and therefore go into hiding I will prepare, by getting snacks in the necessary food groups that won’t add inches to my waist. Gooey is the hardest to find.

What about you? Do you have a part of yourself that could use some acceptance instead of treating it like it’s a bad habit to be banished?

And for music today I Gaitana from Ukraine

10 responses »

  1. I’ve been known to gorge on oreo cookies when down in the dumps. But i’ve just discovered home-mde popcorn – cheap and tasty! Will blog about it soon… after I lick the icing off one last cookie half!

  2. I tend to do that as well. Especially the reading part. I like to escape to another world for a while when things get too chaotic or uncertain in mine. I think it’s just the way I am. and I’m okay with it. If gives my subconscious time to process all that I need to. 🙂

  3. I used to hide a lot, until I finally accepted it was me I was hiding from, and I always showed up. Now, I do just the opposite: I reach out when I’m trying something new, and seek support. It feels better.

    • Sounds great, and a lot more powerful. In the past two weeks I’ve read several things which encourages to be in that scared uncomfortable place, to push your boundaries and walk into the unknown and see what happens.
      Thanks Bill

  4. What an interesting question, Alica! I would accept it, but limit it. Like when I’m super-stressed, I love to get that refrigerator chocolate chip cookie dough and a spoon. It’s not a healthy habit, but it does make me feel better and calm me down. So I let myself have a section of the tube and then cook the rest. Accept, but limit. That’s my policy.

    Not that I’m suggesting someone should do as I do. My hubby is convinced that it’s just a matter of time before the raw eggs in the dough claim me and I get really sick.

  5. I’ve learned that going to bed late sets me off kilter energy, sleep and mood-wise big time. It’s a tough habit to break, and I still grapple with it at times. But it gets easier. Thanks for the inspiration!

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