Zombie Apocalypse Training


For years I’ve been attempting to lose weight and get in shape. Last year I joined a gym with a friend who signed up for personal training then “forgot” to cancel it when we realized we couldn’t afford it.

So anyway our trainer is evil, as all trainers apparently have to be, and as one can tell by my years of trying and failing to get into shape I’m not good at sticking to things especially when they are uncomfortable or down-right painful.

So how am I getting through this? I think if it as zombie apocalypse training. Because you know escaping zombies is a bit more urgent then fitting into a smaller size of jeans. I think of squats as building leg muscles to run and kick with, push ups for climbing and carrying, and the evil abs exercises for building core strength for swinging axes, machetes, and cricket bats. It’s easier to force myself to do one more of the damn things when I think of protecting myself from hungry rotting zombies.

How do you get through things you don’t like to do? And yes once I am a vision of buff-ness I will be on your zombie killing team.

19 responses »

  1. I imagine that I am living in one of those gorgeous stately homes like this:


    and that when I am walking from my apartment to the exercise room, liveried footmen are opening and closing the doors for me.

    Aristocrats don’t sweat, we glow.

    Also I take my Kindle and prop it up on the treadmill so I can lose myself in a book. If a book isn’t good enough to make me forget I’m walking on a treadmill and glowing, I 86 it. Doing something I love to do sucks some of the venom out of doing something I don’t like to do.

    I promised myself I would hit the treadmill every day, without fail. I didn’t promise to meet a time goal or a speed goal. Just showing up is enough for me. So when I was sick to death with a crappy cold, I did three minutes. Did I get some wonderful benefit from it? No, but I got myself on the treadmill that day, and I didn’t break my streak.

    I keep a log online to chart my progress. So far it looks like two steps forward and one step back, but that’s still progress. I’m doing 30 minutes/day at a low rate, which I increase gradually. Eventually I would love to do that magic six mph rate that Ken Cooper set as the baseline for fitness in the original Airforce aerobics fitness program. Will I reach it? Maybe, maybe not, but I sure won’t have a heart attack in the meantime.

    I find a time that is good for me, not necessarily a time that people *think* should be good for me. Usually I am on the treadmill between 10pm and midnight because that is when I like to exercise. I usually eat first, too, another no-no, because feeling lightheaded and dizzy from low blood sugar is not fun. I know I *should* do it first thing in the morning before breakfast, but what if the zombies come at night?

    • LOL- I love this Kilian! Of course you glisten. As for ‘shoulds’ I will turn into a pouting four year old so fast if I try and make myself do what I ‘should’ do. I need to start bringing my Kindle my workout partner has started running on the treadmill- I don’t run- and she can’t talk and run to keep me entertained anymore so i need to bring something to read.
      Working out a different times of day- good idea I don’t think Zombies sleep.

      • Well, they say rust never sleeps, so I guess zombies don’t either. I’ve always been a night owl. My mom told me that when I was a baby (born at 10:30 pm BTW), I used to sleep all day and stay up all night talking to myself and playing with my toes. Some things never change.

  2. I tend not to think about the task at hand. Instead, I focus on my goal. The goal has to be tangible – like lower blood pressure, etc. As long as I stay focused, I see the task as one step closer.

    It also helps that I’ve been working in corporations for over a quarter of a century.

    • Maybe if I break my goal into smaller pieces? What I want to accomplish is at least a year away- if I finally start eating better. And I get depressed thinking about it when I realize how far away I am. But you’re right seeing each work out session as a step towards what I really want would help a lot- and might not freak out my trainer so badly.

    • Some people are goal oriented, and some are task oriented, and most fall somewhere in between on the continuum. I am closer to task oriented, so I make up little games, chants, read my Kindle, do whatever it takes to get on that treadmill for just one day. I let the goal take care of itself.

  3. I used to feel pretty crappy most days which was attributed to anxiety. The cd’s I listened to told me to cut the caffeine, start exercising, and listen to this relaxation tape and other things. I immediately started and never looked back. I exercise almost every day on my real or indoor bicycle and ride my horse. I’m a different person now and a lot of that is attributable to keeping up with the cardio.
    Good Luck with that, Alica.

  4. I will be a magical water creature, dancing with joyous abandon and grace through the flowing resistance of tides…

    In real life, I’m bouncing like an idiot in the pool with all the other old people, but hey, it’s exercise.

  5. That’s great, Alica! Okay, I’ll confess. When I go to the gym, the way I keep going is to imagine a military officer telling me I’m weak and puny and can’t do it. I know that’s crazy, but I’m rather petite and most of my life people have underestimated my strength and competitiveness. So it becomes a mental challenge to say, “Ha! I am NOT a weakling. I can kick this treadmill’s butt!” Best wishes with your training. If the zombie apocalypse comes, I’ll know where to turn.

  6. Usually something good to read is motivation enough to at least get me started. Treadmill + netbook + Kindle app + good books = win! Sometimes it’s hard to keep going fast enough, so maybe I’ll think of zombies tomorrow! 😀

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