Daily Archives: January 2, 2012

Being My Own Best Friend

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In the coming year one of my goals is to be treating myself as I would my best friend. Not only is my inner dialog full of ugliness, but I don’t care for myself very well. If my best friend were allergic to wheat, I would never serve it to her. I would make sure there were treats around she could eat. A pretty glass candy jar like the kind my Grandma has full of hard candies, ginger candies, and really dark chocolate, so she could have a sweet treat but not be tempted to eat a bunch of them. If there were something tempting, I would hold her hand and remind her that her health is important and together we could get through these few minutes.

Yet I give into wheat temptation all the time, leaving myself tired, headachy, and sick.

If my best friend were trying to lose weight, I would serve her healthy, yummy foods. I wouldn’t cover things in cheese or stock quick heat-’em-up foods in the house when I know she’s so busy that they’ll be a temptation. I would support her any way I could. Making salads, or making sure there are leftovers from healthy dinners, and definitely encouraging her to go to bed early so she feels like working out in the mornings. But I don’t do these things for myself.

If my friend wanted to take a class, or needed new clothes, or a vacation, I would help her go through the finances and schedule and figure out how to make it happen. I would make these things a priority. Because her happiness is a priority. Yet mine isn’t.

I would NEVER EVER tell my best friend she is worthless, ugly, lazy, a failure, or stupid. If she didn’t get something done, or fell behind in her routines, I would smile and remind her that we all do these things. Together we would take a deep breath and I would ask her, what one thing, just one, can you do to help yourself get back on track. This is great advice from a dear friend of mine. Then I would remind her of all the good and positive things she has done, and how much she has in her life to be grateful for, and what wonderful things are coming up in the future. Do I talk like that to myself? No of course not. I berate myself and say nasty things driving my depression deeper. Why do we do this? Who taught us to do this? And how do I keep my kids from following this pattern?

In 2012 I’m going to treat myself like I’m my best friend. Anyone want to join me? What five steps could you take to care for yourself as if you were caring for your best friend?

I’m going to-
1. Write a gratitude journal everyday.
2. Make myself that candy jar.
3. Make healthy yummy foods.
4. Get enough sleep so I can take proper care of myself.
5. When I’m feeling upset or craving something I’m going to write down, Right now I feel _______. This will pass. I will take care of myself as soon as I can. Until then I will do __________.
I’ve used this before, and it really helped.

In the spirit of things that make me happy boy bands- today’s is from England McFly “The Heart Never Lies”